...all your favorite music is in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart.
...an "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!
...getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
...happy hour is a nap.
...it takes two tries to get up from the couch.
...the pharmacist has become your new best friend.
...you answer a question with "Because I said so!"
...you begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."
...you can live without sex, but not without glasses.
...you come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
...you don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
...you hear your favorite song on an elevator.
...you look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
...you quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
...you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
...you walk by a teen-ager with a boom box and you want to just smack him.
...you write down a name with a telephone number and when you look at it again, you still don't have a clue who it is.
...your drugs of choice are now vitamins.
...your hot flashes set off the smoke alarm.
