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To celebrate the show's return to HBO, and in a craven attempt to lull die-hard Tyrion Lannister aficionados from the geopolitics of Westeros to the goals, dives, and feigned injuries of top-quality soccer, we have worked with Men in Blazers listeners to construct this GAME OF THRONES–to–ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE converter based on the characters we will meet in Season 2. (Mild, obtuse spoiler alert.)